You are currently browsing the monthly archive for May, 2007.
Well, the thought of Hillary Clinton getting anywhere near the Presidency is too much for me. I am fleeing the country.
Kidding, sort of. I would feel like fleeing the country if she became President. But I am leaving the country Tuesday on vacation. I’ll be visiting Italy for the second time (what a beautiful place!) and France for the first time.
Hopefully I’ll come back with some good stories to post, instead of all my whining! 
See you in two weeks!
Ok look, Nashville-area drivers, I am SICK AND TIRED of you getting mad at me because you’re idiots! Lately it seems to be getting worse.
Recent Example 1: I exited I-65 Southbound to go get gas. I was in the right lane and this lady (and I use that term to denote her gender, not her level of class, as she obviously has none) starts coming into my lane. I had already noticed her because she was talking on her cell phone and just driving carelessly. I tapped my horn at her, just barely, and wasn’t even mad at her for doing it. I didn’t give her a dirty look, didn’t cuss at her, nothing.
But as I am turning into the gas station immediately after that, I can see her ahead of me fumbling with her phone and the steering wheel so she has a free hand with which to flip me off.
Whadafuxup with that?! I wanted to avoid an accident so I tapped the horn to warn you and you essentially tell me to f*ck off? Crazy b*tch!
Recent Example 2: This morning on my drive in, I was in the second lane from the right driving north on 65. I had just passed the 440 split and the right lane at that point starts to merge into the lane I was in. Most people stay out of that far right lane because you are warned in advance that it’s merging. It’s best to just stay in the lane just to the left of that lane.
But I see this idiot driving up that right lane that’s about to end and he’s coming up fast trying to get ahead of the rest of us. I’m currently doing 60 MPH in the 55 MPH zone. I don’t want him to get ahead of us, really, but I don’t make an effort to stop people like that from doing what they want. I refuse to speed up to keep someone from getting over like some of you crazy drivers. I maintain my constant speed and wait to see what happens.
I refuse, however, to leave the lane or make any effort to accomodate him. By the time he gets up to me the lane has ended and he has no choice but to get behind me, even though by that time the idiot has basically gotten almost right beside me. Knowing the lane was ending and seeing where I was he decided to try anyway, because God knows that one extra car length ahead was really important.
Of course he shoots me a dirty look as he whips into the other lane to pass me. God forbid: I maintained my speed in my lane and he had to slow down. How dare I drive normally and safely!
Whadafuxup?!
Well, got a new prescription for my depression. I have taken Lexapro, Effexor and Zoloft in the past. Tried Cymbalta this time at a cost of $40 for a month. Unfortunately I wasted $40. I took one dose and got so sick I’ll never take it again.
Took it last Friday morning before work and a couple hours later started feeling nauseous and not right. Nausea is a common side effect, so I wasn’t concerned. Sat at my desk and started getting really sick. I was alternating between breaking out in a sweat and freezing to death. My mouth was very dry and I started trembling. I then had waves of vomiting and my stomach was having convulsions. This went on for about an hour and a half before I could recover enough to be driven the 45 minutes home by my boss.
The nurse practitioner at my doctor’s office said I should not have had that reaction and to stop taking it immediately. Needless to say, I followed those instructions.
Don’t let this stop you from trying this medication if it’s prescribed to you though. I may have some weird chemical makeup that just reacted badly to this medication.
It was so bad though, that I really started questioning my using any anti-depressants. That had to be some mean medication to make me so sick. Is it worth it to me? I’m not sure anymore
Boy…..got the depression hitting me the last couple weeks like never before. Really makes you tired. Makes you feel like life just goes on and on and on and you wonder how you can possibly keep going one more day.
Not that I want to bring a premature end to this life. I maintain enough logic during these funks to know they are temporary and can be corrected with medication (I see the doctor tomorrow), but boy, living in and of itself can just be exhausting under the cloud of depression. Throw in family and work responsibilities and the simple tasks of maintaining a household, and you just feel worn out.
Going home to my daughters seems to help, though. When you come in and your three-year-old is just ecstatic to see you, it definitely helps. And your 6 month old grinning to beat the band, with her little toothless grin, is priceless.
It’s just hard the rest of the time. Add a rock bottom self esteem to the depression mix, and it can be a deadly combination. I can see how people more consumed than I end up feeling like there’s only one way out. It seems for some people life is a day on a sailing ship, cruising happily through a calm bay. For us with depression, and other problems compounding it, life sometimes feels more like fighting to stay above water with 50 foot seas and gale-force winds. Every breath is a struggle.
The way I know when it’s getting bad is when I think of my eventual death (not by my own hand….again, I’m not looking for a permanent solution to this temporary problem) and think it will be a relief to know I don’t have to struggle anymore. Of course, I hope my death finally comes when I am old and gray…..92 years old might be a good age for it.
Anyway, guess I just needed to post about this. Maybe it will help
